Misery: Don’t Believe the Hype
The "the greatest city on the planet."
Misery Week 2: Don’t Believe the Hype
Estimated 7 minute read.
If you’ve been reading along, you know I’m a “lifer”. I’ve loved this Browns team since I was old enough to understand that the word “Browns” wasn’t just in reference to some paint swatches. If you haven’t, you should go back to the beginning and start from there.
What have I learned from being a fan for so many years? “Don’t believe the hype.” Don’t believe me?
2022: The Cleveland Browns started the season 2-1 after beating the rival Steelers, only to finish the season 7-10.
2021: After a 3-1 start that brought hope to many, the Browns dropped two straight games which led to them giving one and taking one for weeks finishing 8-9.
2019: A year before their first playoff appearance in 18 years, the Browns won a week 2 matchup against the literally average New York Jets of that year to make it a 1-1 start to the season… only to again finish the season a measly 6-10.
I’ve been here before… and I’ve done this before…
A 1-1 start does not signify a “turnaround” for me. It sure as hell doesn’t inspire very much confidence. I know this team is capable of dropping the next 6 games with no notice against teams they should easily beat. This isn’t my first rodeo.
This year though, it’s far less emotion that are bringing me to this conclusion. I don’t think they’re going to finish with a losing record because I think they “suck”. I think it because of the overwhelming task they have ahead…with an entire deck stacked against them.\
With only 186 passing yards and zero touchdowns on the week, Deshaun Watson is still showing that he has lost his spark. With a team that seems, and I said “seems”, to rally around Jameis Winston when he is in the game to run a QB sneak… I can’t possibly imagine why they haven’t made the switch to see if he can do any better with this team we have. When Winston came off the field after those few plays, I saw genuine excitement from the players and coaches. Although he’s another notable “bad guy”, the players seem to say nice things about him in his former roles in New Orleans and Tampa. Maybe he could be the spark that can turn this offense around?
To be clear on this, that is what this offense needs. To be “turned around” completely in an entirely different direction. The Browns are 23rd in the league in drives ending in scoring percentage, as well as the bottom half of the league in passing yards and rushing yards. I would actually say that they won against the Jaguars against their own will last week.
Now to be fair, both teams looked sad. Neither team scored double digits in any quarter all game. They had two touchdowns total between them both all game. It was an absolute “snoozer” of a game, but at least Jacksonville broke the 300 total yard mark. At least the Jags didn’t get… wait a second… what does this say?
13 PENALTIES FOR 100 WHATS?!?! YARDS!?!? Excuse the hell out of you?
You’re telling me this team penalized their way into a football field’s worth of yards?
If I wasn’t obligated to do so by my employer here, I’d just stop writing at this point and:
Smash my keyboard into a million pieces.
Book a flight to the greatest city on the planet.
Get a rental car.
Drive to the Cleveland Browns practice facility.
Make every single player run field lengths until they vomit to show them how far 100 damn yards is.
100 yards? Are you kidding me?
Anyways… cough… I digress.
Until further notice, I will no longer be hearing that this Browns line is the problem. It’s the playcalling, it’s the quarterback play, and it’s the culture that’s been built there. Not by the coaches… but by the GM. Sitting and waiting for a depreciating asset to mature is going to kill this team… and the window is closing.
What I would’ve called a fledgling Super Bowl “contender” three years ago is riddled with those “assets” on both sides of the ball. They have 9 players on injury reserve and 4 players either listed as questionable or out. They’re not getting younger and they’re not getting healthier. Maybe the window is already closed?
Would you like a bold take this week? Would you like positivity? I knew you would, you sicko.
The Browns will win this week. When they do, don’t believe the hype. Take it for what it is… the Browns beating one of the worst teams in the NFL… and then move on with our week. It won’t be a sign of a playoff run. It won’t be a sign of things to come. It will be just another excuse for Browns fans to push aside what they already know… the Browns are a factory of sadness and you’re just one of the bodies on the assembly line.
"Big Apple"? More like "big problem".
One of the Worst Teams in the NFL: A Continuation of the Last Paragraph
No, this week we will not be giving out extra roses because we can’t pick someone to send home. No, this won’t be a week where someone has a survivor save and we won’t be eliminating anyone off the island. This is “Misery”... and it’s a bloodbath here.
The New York Giants are one of the only teams I’d rather not be if I’m a Browns fan on Miser Ave already. I think this week will produce Cleveland’s first 300 yard game with week and the Giants will probably help Deshaun save his job by making him look so good. That’s how bad this team is.
Giants fans… come close… really close…
How did you let the Commanders beat you?
How did you allow America the privilege of not saying “that Browns game was the worst game of the week” with that awful performance between you two?
Daniel Jones doesn’t look good and, similar to last week, you’re going to hear the same words out of my mouth about him as you did about the Carolina Panthers last week.
Daniel Jones is the process of making things really uncomfortable in New York. If they perform badly again this year, I think you have to pick a quarterback with your first pick on the board. The only reason I think it’s worse is because you’ve already given him the money… unlike Bryce Young.
Now I don’t feel bad about the money thing for y’all. This was your own doing.
You gave this guy all this money with a career QBR of 84.5 and a TD/INT split of 64/42. You have officially given so many teams a cautionary tale on what NOT to do with your QB after his rookie deal. Don’t let feelings tell you how to feel… let stats tell you how to feel.
Similar to the Browns now, you cannot pull that plug. You’re destined to ride this train out for at least a few more years.
It’s time you join us on that ride on a less bumpy road… let your guard down… don’t let emotions get in the way. Eli is gone and you have a tall Bryce behind center. Your season is over and so is your future. If you say it enough times in the mirror it gets easier.
Not to make it even worse… but the Cowboys are good now… and you’re the worst team in New York? I’m sorry… I mean Jersey…
Misery Team Week 2: New York Giants
Prediction: Best Case 5-12… worst case 3-14
